Fighting Bipolar
We all have to do it.
We all get it.
It is the biggest thing that they will never truly understand about us.
It is the thing we most need acknowledged.
It is impossible to explain. It is impossible to describe. It is impossible to understand unless you are one of us.
The majority of the experience of Bipolar is not public. Not external.
The majority of the Bipolar experience is Silent. Hidden. Invisible. Internal.
It is our own private battle.
It is the daily fight to maintain balance.
And it is the all out war in the midst of a true episode.
And no matter how hard they try to encourage us to learn “skills” to cope
The truth is
We don’t have any true weapons
All we have
is our supernatural ability to withstand the beatings.
I don’t want to try to put it in words because it is something too raw for us.
But also because I don’t really have any words for it.
You didn’t lose the fight if you are sobbing beyond control
You didn’t lose because you can’t stop drinking the racing thoughts away
You didn’t lose because you hate yourself
You ARE withstanding the beatings.
When you are Bipolar your only choice is to fight for your balance, your wellness,
your LIFE.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
We all do it.
EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. US.
The good stuff matters enough.
It just does.
Don’t let Bipolar lie to you.
FIGHT
We win every day
We are here
Bipolar First Bipolar Together 
It’s a truly private battle.
It’s the fear of family and friends reactions. How would they possibly understand the utter turmoil that we have to endure. The constant self analysis. Never knowing what’s real. Never having a “normal”, “balanced” mood.
How would one explain the self destructive impulses…..the spending, the promiscuity, the inner rage, the finger constantly tapping the self destruct button.
And then there’s the dark side. The constant, lingering thoughts of death and suicide.
I’ve tried to open up, but it’s futile. I don’t think “normal” people could ever understand the battle we fight. The only way to experience Bipolar, is to live it. And I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.
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Exactly. Yes. We want them to understand but are glad that they don’t. Because, as you said, if they did understand it would only be because they have it too. And yeah.
It hurts to try to explain it anyway, especially when it is rejected or misunderstood or feared.
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Beautiful
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