So what if the bad outweighs the Good?

******Trigs…yep talking suicide again.  I know AGAIN.  if you want something lighter click something else on the side. off you go. have fun.*****

alright

Okay so what IF the bad outweighs the good?

or

what if Bipolar is telling you that the bad outweighs the good?

What if that is how you feel right now and you just don’t care what I say?

I’m going to say shit anyway.

so there

The world is full of bad, hate, dark.

So is Bipolar

But it actually isn’t ALL like that

stay with me

the thing is that the good is more powerful than the bad…even if there is more bad

every moment of good

MATTERS

more

If the good was not more powerful than the bad then the whole world would be jumping off of bridges.

but they’re not

why?

because the good is SO FUCKING GOOD

you don’t feel that right now but THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU ARE RIGHT. It means that you are experiencing a Bipolar CRAPFEST right now

People who have lived through and seen horrendous soul deadening shit still stick around.

Because there is still fun to be had, people to love, cool shit to watch on tv, people to help…..

And it IS worth it

SO FUCKING WORTH IT

And guess what?

Tons of Bipolars have hit the bottom, again and again, and yet

LOVE LIFE

and

are

so

glad

they

stayed

Like a misguided tattoo you almost got when you were drunk one night

we look back and say

oh thank god

i didn’t

do

that

One great rule for Bipolar (HA I said rule!)…

is DON’T MAKE BIG DECISIONS IN AN EPISODE!

and um ending your life counts as a big decision

it is like drunk driving…you just ARE NOT in a place where you can safely do it

even if it seems rational or necessary

It’s not

you’re wrong

sit down

Look at the people I have mentioned on this blog, Therese Borchard and Melody Moezzi, and then others I have plans to mention….Kay Jamison, Patty Duke, Liz Spikol, Natasha Tracy, Carrie Fisher….every single one of them tried or seriously considered throwing the fucking towel ALL the way in….

but didn’t

and have

saved

lives

Tons of us have beat it over and over and are glad we did and enjoy life.

Look at Jim’s comment on Bipolar is and Episodic illness…

He says that he “ENJOYS” life

You know what

I do too

and I wish we could take a poll or something so everyone who is standing on the edge could see that….

there are so many of us

And How About This?

People love to throw around the scary high percentage of Bipolars who attempt and succeed at ending their lives.

But LOOK AT THIS SHIT!

THE MAJORITY OF US DO NOT

and

it

is

so

possible

to

be Bipolar

AND

ENJOY LIFE

If so many of us do??

Why should you be any different?

Do you think that your Bipolar is somehow worse than everybody else’s?

If you think you are different it is because Bipolar is telling you that.

The time right after dx is an ugly one.

This is NOT THE TIME to be futurizing and awfulizing about you future with Bipolar.

This is not the time to generalize your current experience to your entire life.

So tell Bipolar to SHUT THE FUCK UP

and HOLD ON

its not easy.  not saying that. read here and here if you’re new and think I’m being mean to bipolar people

We tend to THINK so much when we are in these things.  We just keep THINKING.  Whether we are trying to convince ourselves its not so bad or we are telling ourselves it is so bad or we are just listening to the crap Bipolar is saying.

Easier said than done I know but stop thinking, or stop listening.  or recognize it all for the shit that it is and just keep reminding yourself.

Listen to the same song over and over

play video games

watch inane TV

eat all the snickers in the whole wide world

whatever

and limit as many decisions as you can and or streamline them as much as possible

even shit like what to eat and “where is an unwrinkled shirt? I have no shirt!” can send us spiraling in that bad bad place.

and oh for the love of God stop analyzing the things other people do and say to see whether or not they really care about you

Just pull it all in

triage

damage control

But what was the point of this?

Oh yeah.

The bad is bad.

The bad is horrible

the bad is unbearable

But the good is

bigger

stronger

fuller

and

more important

And you never know…

what life holds…that will be good.

I don’t know where you are

but someday

sometime

you may be somewhere

or with someone

or doing something

and you will think

THANK

YOU

GOD

that I did’t do that.

If you read all of that and you’re still like

whatever fuck this shit

sigh

okay

hmmm

then consider this

if you kill yourself you totally fuck up your karmic lifeline and reincarnate into lesser lives and broken mind bodies.

Now that doesn’t sound like a real escape from pain now does it?

You wanna go for even more rounds of this shitstorm?

I’m not saying I believe that shit but I thought it might scare some of you straight.

hehehe

Now if you’re manic you definitely might believe that……

😉

2 comments

Add Yours
  1. Toodles

    Hi. How have you been? It seems a long time since we last spoke.

    My mania has now gone. I can feel the depression coming. I have no motivation for life, work, anything. I’m obsessing over bad things I’ve done. No review for almost 3 months. I’m getting fat and I have zero motivation for exercise. loneliness is a big factor for me, I never let anyone get close.

    Like

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