Find your Fogdog

Well intentioned, helpful advice often contributes to the overall blahness of Bipolar.

I’m going to toss one out there though just in case.  I  am Bipolar so I am allowed.  hehe

actually I think I have two

Holding a perspective on Bipolar is good for everyone.

NonBipolars do this as well as we do. There are people with worse disorders, bigger problems. Yes. true. Basically always true for most people.

But feeling sad about being Bipolar and or suffering from Bipolar Disorder and then shutting yourself up (or being shut up by someone else) with the old “other people have it worse” line can just shovel more guilt onto the fire which triggers more depression which triggers more guilt and on and on and on….

As Therese Borchard points out in her book, Beyond Blue, a broken arm hurts for a rich kid even though they’re rich.

Bipolar may not be the worst thing that could happen to a person but that thought doesn’t stop the pain.

Instead,

when you are having the  “I am just depressed because I have to deal with Bipolar forever” feeling,

or maybe even when experiencing the internal Bipolar shitstorm…

Think of your lighthouse or your fogdog

Lighthouse first.

You are out alone in the dark black stormy sea.  You look around you thinking God in heaven what the hell is the point of this?

and then you see it.  A light piercing through the dark storm from some high craggy cliff.

and you remember what the point is…

what is that thing for you?

for many of us it is a person

child

mother

wife

or it may be a furry companion who loves you

it may be a dream or a goal that you are passionate about

I don’t know

I don’t know what yours is but I know mine.

(by the way. it is probably better to think of this stuff before you get depressed because yeah)

But sometimes thinking of that person or that dream can trigger more emotion and we want to trigger less.

Thinking about your babies or your parents or the person who wants to spend their life with you can sometimes, lets face it, make you feel really shitty for feeling so debilitated and disordered.

and maybe there are times when you can’t see the light.

So hmm here is another idea

try thinking of something….even one tiny thing that Bipolar has NOT taken from you.

Or one thing that always makes you happy no matter what

One happy or funny memory

A joke that is always funny to you.

Something you like to do.

(I get depression makes us feel like everything is stupid so you may want to choose something very simple and unemotional.)

There are all different kinds of these things.

This isn’t about something that you like to do even when you’re depressed and hate everything but there is the understanding that you technically are still able to do things even though you have Bipolar…

Like walk, listen to music, go to a movie….

simple and small

and this is not a gratitude list or a positive thinking thing.  This is just think of something…anything…

You could make a list if that floats your boat and that is probably a great idea.

But I also think it is important to focus on one little thing (for an episode or week or day or whatever, you can change it up) that you can cling to in those moments of darkness….

A tiny faded bright spot in the fog bank that enfolds you.

Your fogdog

That is the word for a small bright spot in the fog.

To give you an example…

Mine often is

“I can still dance”

That’s it.  That’s sometimes all I can get to in the dark.  Bipolar hasn’t ruined my body.

Bipolar hasn’t taken dancing from me. And as far as I am concerned Bipolar will never take that from me.

Does that mean I want to dance when I am depressed…no not always.. but the point is that I acknowledge that though Bipolar does a lot to me, it has not effected my motor abilities.

In a really bad time a fogdog could be something like…

“i can still watch The Voice”

Okay fine, I will admit to you that once upon a time mine was for a little while “I can watch the Batchelor”

not kidding

scrape that barrel

So think of yours. Give it a try. It may not work for you but it is an idea.  Just an idea.  It is my blog so I only have my ideas.

Off you go…

Go find your fogdog

8 comments

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  1. Toodles

    I will use this. I think I will need to. My meds are sending me into the hole of depression, with no review for 2 months. No “normal” for me. Straight from manic to depressed. Fuck This Illness.

    Like

  2. Ho

    One of her books, offered many insights about how she cope with Bipolar Disorder in her life. I could never thank her enough for writing books on it.

    Gratitude of the day 🙂

    Like

  3. Toodles

    I saw my GP yesterday. I now weigh 79 KG. I weighed 68 in January of this year. So not only am I getting fat, I’m also now depressed again. I’ve been told by a psych to reduce the mood stabiliser by 250mg in the am. They want to find out what’s making me depressed so they’re starting off by tinkering with the mood stabiliser.

    Yes, review means pdoc visit. I believe it’s in October.

    I’ve had a change of heart though. I’m not going to take anything anymore. It’s not working for me. They’ve just shut me down again. I have no life in me. The same happened last year. I’m done with it all.

    I was happier when I was manic, at least I felt some nice emotions. I feel empty now. I’m wracked with guilt about last year and I’m deeply, deeply unhappy and very alone. I think I want to die again.

    I’ve started to talk to the cameras again, even though I know that they’re not there.

    I’m sick of all this. It’s such a destructive illness.

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  4. Toodles

    I feel 100% better today, that’s 36 hours off meds now. If I go euphoric/manic again, I’ll have to cross that bridge when it comes. I just got fed up. I took a bad nosedive over ten days, resulting in a couple of terrible mixed episodes. The delusional stuff is coming and going. But yes, I feel good today. Best I’ve felt in about 2 weeks. I can still “feel” the bipolar clawing at me but I just don’t get on with meds.

    I hope you’re well. You are a saint for listening to my bs.

    Thank you.

    Like

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