I don’t wanna
You know how it goes.
You are at some doctor somewhere.
The OB for a pap.
The ER to get some stitches in your finger.
Urgent care for a clogged ear.
Really anything ever
And you’re just rolling along. Not really even thinking about Bipolar
As far as anyone around you knows you are a normal ass person just like everybody else
List any medications you are currently taking
why do you need to know about my meds and my bipolar
Aren’t we talking about
Now I have a very powerful imagination and I am able to take a rather fanciful path from a clogged ear to some unexpected and rare event that would lead to some huge trauma emergency as a result of the fuckers not knowing that I was taking certain drugs.
Ok. I get it. Whatever. They are just doing their jobs. I am sure it is the safe thing to do.
But I don’t wanna tell
it is annoying
I guess I should be all like yeah I’m not ashamed suck it world I’m Bipolar who cares!
And sure that is fun
But truth is
There are shitty people out there
And many of us encounter them at the doctor places
You either list meds or they ask and write but either way there is a shift once it is said
Sometimes definitely NOT imperceptibly
And then sometimes it happens…the word Bipolar joins the room
Medical professional says while not looking up from paper..”So what are you taking the —your meds here— for?”
Shift, flinch, glance
And they look at you anew. They can’t help it. You just changed for them. Got a little more interesting.
So I often just don’t feel like writing them down. Some places it seems really unnecessary.
Others, like today, I didn’t write them down and then they were just being so damned thorough about everything and double checking my forms and answers and I don’t like to lie ya know.
So when she said “so you’re not on any medications ?”
And I was sitting there with a benzo in my pocket,
I felt like I had to come clean.
By the way I did LITERALLY have a benzo in my pocket.
Well only a half
But I think that stills counts
I felt like I had to be honest and I spilled my meds and she looked amused
and since I had already won her over with my winning and effervescent personality I just straight up said “It’s annoying to have to share all of that for what seems like no reason.”
She just kept her little amused smile. The one people give you when they think you’re being weird but they like you.
maybe she didn’t like me
one person’s effervescence is another person’s mustard
So yeah whatever.
I guess there are just some places where we are outed whether we want to be or not.
but at least they knew about my meds in case I tripped and bashed my head in while I was in there and had to be taken to the ER in an ambulance and was unconscious and when I got to the hospital the doctors gave me a drug that they NEVER would have given me if they knew I was on my meds and I had a terrible reaction and died.
That would be bad. I’m guess I’m glad I listed my meds.