Please list any medications you are currently taking

blah

I don’t wanna

You know how it goes.

You are at some doctor somewhere.

The OB for a pap.

The ER to get some stitches in your finger.

Urgent care for a clogged ear.

Really anything ever

And you’re just rolling along. Not really even thinking about Bipolar

As far as anyone around you knows you are a normal ass person just like everybody else

And then

List any medications you are currently taking

SIGH

fuck you

why do you need to know about my meds and my bipolar

Aren’t we talking about

My finger?

My ear?

My vagina?

Now I have a very powerful imagination and I am able to take a rather fanciful path from a clogged ear to some unexpected and rare event that would lead to some huge trauma emergency as a result of the fuckers not knowing that I was taking certain drugs.

Ok. I get it. Whatever. They are just doing their jobs. I am sure it is the safe thing to do.

But I don’t wanna tell

it is annoying

I guess I should be all like yeah I’m not ashamed suck it world I’m Bipolar who cares!

And sure that is fun

But truth is

There are shitty people out there

And many of us encounter them at the doctor places

You either list meds or they ask and write but either way there is a shift once it is said

Sometimes imperceptibly

Sometimes definitely NOT imperceptibly

And then sometimes it happens…the word Bipolar joins the room

As in

Medical professional says while not looking up from paper..”So what are you taking the —your meds here— for?”

Bipolar

Shift, flinch, glance

And they look at you anew. They can’t help it. You just changed for them. Got a little more interesting.
So I often just don’t feel like writing them down. Some places it seems really unnecessary.

Others, like today, I didn’t write them down and then they were just being so damned thorough about everything and double checking my forms and answers and I don’t like to lie ya know.

So when she said “so you’re not on any medications ?”

And I was sitting there with a benzo in my pocket,

I felt like I had to come clean.

By the way I did LITERALLY have a benzo in my pocket.

Still do.

Well only a half

But I think that stills counts

Anyway

I felt like I had to be honest and I spilled my meds and she looked amused

and since I had already won her over with my winning and effervescent personality I just straight up said “It’s annoying to have to share all of that for what seems like no reason.”

She just kept her little amused smile. The one people give you when they think you’re being weird but they like you.

maybe she didn’t like me

one person’s effervescence is another person’s mustard

So yeah whatever.

I guess there are just some places where we are outed whether we want to be or not.

but at least they knew about my meds in case I tripped and bashed my head in while I was in there and had to be taken to the ER in an ambulance and was unconscious and when I got to the hospital the doctors gave me a drug that they NEVER would have given me if they knew I was on my meds and I had a terrible reaction and died.

That would be bad.  I’m guess I’m glad I listed my meds.

8 comments

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  1. Leslie

    It is horrible. I hate it. I also can’t guarantee that I’ll remember them all, so I carry a list on an index card in my wallet as well as on my phone. It’s embarrassing to pull a list out when I have to write my meds down. Or to need extra space.

    Like

    • bipolarfirst

      Ha yes. I love when they ask you how to spell them. It is so fun. Or when they say “hmm really? You’re on that for Bipolar”. Um yeah but I didn’t come here to teach a lesson on the different types of Bipolar medications.

      Like

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