Ideas are born in the strangest of places and sometimes come to be right where we are not expecting them…
The answer or the explanation or something that we have been waiting for searching for…
Anyway, I have participated in and initiated the conversation of a “cure” a number of times and have never felt like I had satisfactorily communicated my feelings regarding the issue.
For the sake of simplicity and linear thinking let’s define “cure” in this post to mean that they discover a way to completely eradicate Bipolar from the brain. But let’s agree to pretend that we do not have more information on it than this because to speculate and imagine further will lead us down a path of semantics and particulars which will drown out the heart of this post. There is so much we don’t know about the brain right now that the idea of a “cure” for something like Bipolar is laughable. An exercise in thought perhaps. Besides, a “cure” is science fiction people. This is a thought post not a fact post. (I don’t think I have facts posts)
The conversation usually begins with the question…
If there was a cure…would you want it?
Visual exercise if you will…imagine
Someone hands you a pill and says just take this and ALL of the Bipolar will go away.
I’m sure all of us have had times (or are currently having a time) when this is beyond a doubt a no brainer….and we would have that thing down our throats so fast we get whiplash
And we all feel differently. I know. We all have different Bipolar.
I know some of us are bewildered that others of us would even have a split second of hesitation.
To be sure there have been many many okay yeah many times in my life when I would have grabbed that pill….when I have begged the heavens for a cure for this…when I would have begged somebody to claw it out of my brain whatever the consequences
Most of the time I feel like I would hesitate…I’d look around at the rest of you to see if you were taking it…I’d probably over research it and over think it and talk to my friends about it until their ears bled and I’d probably drag my feet….and put it some place really special so I wouldn’t lose it….and then i’d lose it because that is how that works….
then relief maybe…….maybe my loved ones tell me to call and request another one and i write it on my to do list but then somehow nnnnnever ggggget aaaarround ttttto iiiiit.
Not because I love Bipolar
Not because I’d miss mania
Not because I think it is fun to endure this shitty “disorder”
But because I’d be afraid
Afraid of what Bipolar would take with it when it went…
Like a Siamese twin……..
so a part of me
but connected to me in ways not fully understood
Can you really remove it without killing me?
Perhaps if instead of marketing it as a “cure” or as removing the Bipolar there was a pill that promised to put one in a permanent state of good…
Yeah that sounds less scary to me. More palatable. Like a really safe really effective med…totally proven to balance you out and put you in a good state with perhaps a touch of mild hypo here and there (this is a fantasy!) than I’d be so down with that.
Maybe those of us who feel this way could start a little petition for whoever is working on a Bipolar cure (are there people working on a Bipolar cure?) that we want them to give up on the cure malarkey and make us a med that does THAT.
I’m happy to be balanced out, stable, good…..but still Bipolar.
But don’t you dare try to give me a pill or a cure that will make me
I’ve seen a lot of normal
And I’m way better