In Which I Gleefully Trade Dignity For Chicken Nuggets

Okay so I promised you a story in my Bipolar Rants post…a PERSONAL story.

It’s been a serious kind of a week what with all of this crazy business even though we started out with this Bazooka Bubblegum frivolity.

But now I think you guys deserve a treat and I promised you my ridiculous McDonald’s story.

Do not get too excited.  This is a short dumb story.  But I can make it long.  Don’t worry.

Once upon a time,…… I was a college aged, undiagnosed, manic little Bipolar girl.  Yes it is true.

And like all good little undxed manic Bipolar girls, I barely ate anything (yes generalizing to all for the storytelling don’t get offended)…

except for crap junk food when I got too hungry and too mmmm “emotional”

and so my craving of the week(month) was chicken McNuggets.

I know.

It is snooty of me to point out that I haven’t eaten one of these in a shit ton of years.  I am a bit health obsessed (which has served me well with the blah disorder) and I actually was rather health obsessed back then but it manifested itself bizarrely…..as in…

“From now on I ONLY eat organic food EVEN if the only organic food I have access to is this bag of pretzels.”

and more typically just a complete paralyzation around food and then just NOT eating…and then um okay yeah I was not going to divulge this much

back to the story.

Chicken McNuggets.

They had just started making them with “all white meat”  which obviously turns them into health food right…..just box those babies up in compostable cardboard and cute squiggly plant based ink writing and sell them at the health freak store.

Um no.  They were still disgusting.

AMAZING disgusting

my favorite kind of disgusting

I was hooked.

They were the only thing my electric manic stomach could handle.

So I bolted to the McDonald’s in between classes or work and class or whatever the fuck I was up to at the time and I went in and placed my order for a shit ton of chicken nuggets

and then the lady lowered the boom.

they only took cash

I obviously did not have any cash.  Having cash requires some sort of preparation and organization and forward thinking.

Those are not things I do  did.

For some reason the fact that they could not take my credit card hit me like a personal affront

and I argued.

Now I cannot even remember what I possibly could have said.  I mean how is there anything to say in this situation but “oh shucks”?

I mean they simply could not take my card.

But I took it as a cause to share how disappointed I was in McDonald’s as a whole and

what kind of bush league establishment were they running here?

When I say that I “lost my cool” I mean that I looked like an uncool idiot NOT that I was “ranting” and raving and hostile.

I was actually extremely calm and well spoken….

just not keyed into reality

I topped it off with my best insult….

The declaration of the removal of my patronage from said establishment and bestowing it upon another.

Or….

I told the lady that I guessed I was just going to have to take my money to Wendy’s where they ALWAYS accept credit cards.

insert haughty hair flip here

As I said in the rant piece…this lady could not have given less of a shit about all of this.  I do not think her eyes changed one iota the whole time I was talking.

Combine all of this with the fact that I was dressed up in my manic college bipolar girl clothes (meaning not a lot of them)…..

(yes just generalizing again for the sake of silly story.  No offense. I am sure you guys wear all your clothes.  I did not.  What can I say?)

point just being that in terms of giving somebody reasons to not like you….I gladly handed this lady a bushel basket full.

So I told her I was taking my business to Wendy’s and I sashayed my crazy little ass out of there.

But then…

in my car

the cold reality of what I had done rolled through me like ice.

the horror

Who was I kidding?

Wendy’s nuggets are NOTHING like McDonald’s Chicken McNuggets!

What HAD I DONE!

this was HORRIBLE

UNBEARABLE

I spent a few seconds trying to sell myself on choosing pride over disgusting nugget craving

but

I had no real weapons in this fight.

I needed the nuggets.

There was only one thing to be done.

.

.

.

I drove around searching for an ATM.

.

.

.

And then

I

went

BACK

to that SAME

McDonald’s

and I walked my super bitch scantily clad self right up to the

SAME lady

.

(picture me shaking my head right now as I type)

.

and then I ordered my nuggets just like it ain’t no thang

Thankfully I do not remember what if anything else was said.  I think nothing much because I was crazily acting like nothing happened (not because I was embarrassed mind you. Nope. But because I was oblivious) and the lady probably did not care one bit about me and my nuggets.

If she said anything at all I imagine it was a quiet matter of fact mutter of  “that bitch is crazy” to a coworker.

And she’d be right.

Oh well

We all make mistakes

.

Especially, manic mistakes.

But thankfully that was my only one.

.

.

Who believes me?

.

No one, really?

.

Oh you guys.

.

.

.

So there ya go.

A personal story about my personal battle with Bipolar Disorder.

Moral of the story…..

always have cash on you

obviously THAT is the lesson to be learnt from this.

I just want you all to know that I am  a grown up   a little older since then and I don’t do shit like that anymore.

Although when I had to wait forever in an Urgent Care one time I told them that next time I was just going to go to the ER.  (not manic for that.  I don’t think.)

Apparently, thems my best fightin’ words when angered by an organization.

Again, those people could not have cared less about me.

actually yes they could have because they didn’t know I was Bipolar yet.

oooooo

snap

.

.

.

Just remember.  Bipolar is not an excuse.

It is an explanation.

Unless you are talking to your old college roommates

and then it is most definitely

an excuse.

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