“I have walked the Tightrope Parts of Me”

This is a song that seems like it has always been with me.

It seems to so clearly speak to some of the Bipolar experience.

Especially when I was younger and undiagnosed…..

it really meant something to me.

Because while sort of deep and angsty….

It is hopeful…

“You’re almost there…..

it’s GONE……

…”

And I seemed to be aware that I had “demons”….

that I was trying to “defeat” something.

And as we all know every time that beautiful hypomania rolled around it felt like

this was it…

I was almost there….

It was gone.

.

Especially because I misheard the lyrics repeatedly…for years….

all the way until after diagnosis….

I thought the lyrics were

“You’re almost where what follows you…does not FOLLOW you.”

As in I felt like someday this thing would be gone…not foliowing me anymore.

.

So imagine how fitting it was for me after dx to realize that what they actually say is

“You’re almost where what follows you does not BOTHER you.”

.

Whoa.

Deep.

.

Too bad Bipolar does actually bother me on one level….

but on another…. deeper weirder one….

It doesn’t.

So I still love this song.

and I am excited to share it with you.

.

Unfortunately, I do not care for this video at all but it was the only way I could get you the song.

It was in the movie Crazy Beautiful which I actually never saw.

I put the lyrics underneath since it is obviously easy to mishear them. hehe.

.

Enjoy my song.

Genius….

“Tightrope parts of me…”

.

.

I imagine long walks down the road.
Things begin to bloom and the sky explodes.
The damage is undone, and then I know.
This has got to be a dream.
Machines and luxuries don’t last.
I took my sleep for granted in the past.
And I woke up half-dead in the hourglass.
Why does that sound funny?
Wait, you’re almost there it’s gone.
You’re almost there it’s gone.
You’re almost where what follows you, does not bother you.
I have walked the tightrope parts of me.
I towed the line just far enough to see.
I never found a gift you get for free.
You pay for them dearly.
I see my forever as one long night.
If I can make it dark then I can make it light.
I know that most of living done is done in the mind.
Only thought survives.
Are you tired?
Are you uninspired?
Has the miscommunication tried to eat you up inside.
I am here, and you are here.
And everything I want to know.
Sleeps between your ears.

4 comments

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  1. morgueticiaatoms

    I liked Crazy/Beautiful but much like most entertainment involving bipolar…it focused on mania, hypomania, tears, anger…They leave out the depressive parts, which surely wouldn’t make for a thrilling ninety minute movie…But it’s the reality of bipolar two and it seems to be left out at every turn. Maybe that’s why the masses think “bipolar” means happy fun ball and can’t grasp the dark depressive bouts.

    Liked by 1 person

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