I’m Beautifully Broken and I don’t Care If I show it

early post diagnosis I just felt so….

broken

I had once felt

special

unique

unusual

artistic

moody

pensive

passionate

but then….

my brain crapped out on me

I found myself in a Psychiatrist’s office being told I was Bipolar

and I felt like

it was all

nothing

I did not feel special or unique or artistic or talented or moody

I felt

like a broken person

a girl with

a broken

brain

.

.

let’s face it

.

That is what they tell us.

.

disordered

defective

ill

broken

.

But then I heard this song.

.

And it sounded like it was exactly about me.

exactly about Bipolar.

.

and I felt better

.

Maybe it helped me begin my journey of claiming my Bipolar…

of appreciating its part in my life…

of realizing that Bipolar is not necessarily a disorder………

it is a brain difference that sometimes disorders us…..

.

If you are newly diagnosed….

or you are struggling….

or you just feel like you are done hiding the Bipolar

and you are tired of acting like it is bad…….

to be broken….

it isn’t bad to be broken….

.

I think when I heard this song it was the first time I was like

well..

O fucking KAY

So my brain is all fucked up

maybe I am broken

but I can own it….

I can make it mine.

.

I may be broken

But I sure am

spectacularly

brilliantly

sparklingly

beautifully

broken

.

Please listen I am sure it will hit some of your hearts……..

.

Beautifully Broken Lyrics

It seems like yesterday
That my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday
I didn’t know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow
I may not get by
But I will try, I will try
Wipe the tears from my eyes
I’m beautifully broken
And I don’t mind if you know it
I’m beautifully broken
And I don’t care if I show it
Everyday is a new day
I’m reminded of my past
Every time there’s another storm
I know that it won’t last
Every moment I’m filled with hope
‘Cause I get another chance
But I will try, I will try
Got nothing left to hide
I’m beautifully broken
And I don’t mind if you know it
I’m beautifully broken
And I don’t care if I show it
Without the highs and the lows
Where would we go
Where would we go
I’m beautifully broken
And I don’t mind if you know it
I

7 comments

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  1. AndrewS

    “It is a brain difference that sometimes disorders us.” So well put. Btw you really need a moniker a nickname. Keep your anonymity but saying, Nice post Bipolarfirst…meh lol. Dolphin emoji 🐬🐬🐬🐬!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

      • AndrewS

        Meh. Andrew works for me. I kinda like going against the reigning grain of anonymity. Which I’m sure I’ll regret when I get the Nobel call and the committee is forced to immediately retract when they discover an ancient blog post babbling grossly about all the lewd things I’d do to Buddha for a few brain tweaks πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

  2. lolabipola

    Having only been diagnosed in March this year, I thought it wouldn’t make any difference to how I perceived my own self… But it has. Weird huh! I’ve found myself questioning what’s me and what’s the bipolar… But I have (after many chats with you and others) got to a point now where I just think, “It doesn’t matter – I am who I am, bipolar and all”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. morgueticiaatoms

    I am fond of saying, “I am bent, not broken. Bent things can be put back into a normal shape. Broken is beyond repair.”

    And I agree with Andrew. You need a nick moniker. Unfortunately, my creative streak is on sabbatical so Sass must be consulted for input if you are interested.

    Liked by 1 person

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