Feeling Quiet……

hey guys

i’m just feeling quiet lately

not depressed

just that sort of cozyish sensitive gray weather kind of feeling

which of course can be a part of depression

but for me it can also exist on its own

it doesn’t make me unhappy

in fact it makes me feel kind of happy

largely because

it makes me feel calm

and calm isn’t a frequent player in my emotional world

but calm is wonderful

.

i’ve had a lot going on …just the normal activity of a full life

and i think that the conversation with my psychiatrist/therapist opened up the exhaustion place in me…

the “this is all just so bad I don’t know why I am even trying” place

the “i just don’t want to think about it” place

and if you knew me you would know that I rarely rarely am in an “i don’t want to think about it place”

i’m definitely not one to bottle it up

but things change to as we get older

and i’m just so over it all

and i just don’t feel like thinking about bipolar

just don’t

i feel calm

and i love it

i have things i could go off about….posts i definitely will write

but right now i am even kind of avoiding it because

i don’t want to ruin the calm

.

i think about you guys though and the right “mood” will return……

now that i said something and even opened up the computer i’ll probably be typing away tonight

shrug

i just never know with me

.

Peace Love Bipolar