If you’re Bipolar you’re weird If you’re Schizophrenic you can’t function If you’re Borderline you’re an idiot

A therapist said that

Okay I was set on my next post being lighthearted but I swear you guys this shit just keeps being pushed in my face.

yes this is more therapist crap

I know I know I am sorry I am sure you’re getting tired of me bitching about this crap and I sure as hell am getting tired of writing about this crap but here I am again in it.

this time from a friend!

yeah uh huh

a friend who is a therapist

well this is a friend I haven’t seen in a long time one of those ones where you are looking to see if you still have a connection

and um yeah

I don’t think it’s gonna work out

(by the way I do have a different friend in training to be a therapist who agrees with all my shit. And I don’t think she’s just placating me…)

but anyway I just got together with this friend after a year or so….

mental health had to come up of course because she works in the field and she just got a new job

she knows that I am Bipolar

I’m going to make this as quick as I can because I pulled my car over to write this.

many things but I will focus on a few

so somehow Borderlines came up…

her saying something negative I don’t remember what.

I jump in with …

“I know a bunch of people with BPD and they are smart insightful interesting people”

she makes a face and says “really” in the most I don’t believe you of ways

I say

“Yes. They are aware and committed to their health and wellness and very together”

She basically tells me that they can’t be.  That if they are really like that that maybe the diagnosis was wrong or they aren’t BPD anymore.  Whatever.

I say that they experience a lot of harsh judgment.

She says

“yeah I know I don’t work very well with them”

.

.

I was so shocked because I didn’t realize that she was like this

I was not prepared to have to blog at her.

I was not prepared for an us versus them in which she didn’t realize I was with “them”

My heart had dropped now.  And I kept thinking of you, Pride in Madness, and I almost wanted to pull out your website and show her what BPD can look like. Look at this amazing human soul.

But I felt fiercely protective of you as well.

she didn’t seem open

do not cast your pearls before therapists….

sigh

.

but it’s not over

I’m sorry

schizophrenia came up.

I’ll you why in a minute…

but she said that if someone is functioning they cannot be schizophrenic.

uh huh yes she did

I am not an expert in schizophrenia but a quick google suggests that many people with schizophrenia can manage it enough to function and can lead “normal” lives.  That sounds like us Bipolars a bit huh.

I also hate the word function but now is not the time for that rant.

I also have recently been introduced to the truly fabulous Allie Burke.  Who is not only “functioning” but succeeding in a glorious way.

So I say…I know woman who is schizophrenic and not only functions but has published books and runs websites and..etc etc…

my friend shakes her head

“no no” she says “you cannot be paranoid schizophrenic and do things like that”…

I tried a couple more times

she didn’t believe me

i tried more

but it wasn’t happening

then I threw down…

“People just think they know but they don’t really understand what…

and she nodded like she knew what I was going to say and said …”the general public”

I said “no..everyone”

then to finish my idea said

“in general the world has no idea what mental illness actually looks like”

here she got a little heated…offended…

saying

“I am a mental health professional in the field. I KNOW what mental illness looks like”

and I knew I had two choices.

have a heated argument with someone who wasn’t going to hear it.

or talk about the weather

I am a coward but a realist and a trigger avoider and I talked about the weather

I wish I knew more what to say

but I couldn’t believe it was happening…

that here someone I thought was “on my side” in a way…was actually not at all…

I don’t want there to be “sides” at all….but what else is it when one group is discriminated against and stigmatized ….

And the other group is DOING IT TO THEM

If you don’t feel safe with someone

they probably are not on your side

and I just wanted to take my little mentally ill self home…

well really get into my car and blog this shit.

although I almost felt like I shouldn’t tell you guys because it sucks so bad

I promised you I would tell you why schizophrenia came up.

I feel bad for even telling you because it makes me really upset.

She was telling me about clients

She told me about one woman who came to her who had been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia.

my friend said…

and I quote

“I took one look at this woman and I KNEW she was not schizophrenic”

I was speechless

I could not even believe what she was saying.

I said what does Schizophrenia look like then because I know people who you would never now anything by looking….

she sort of gesticulated communicating that is was something unkempt and out of control

so she went on to convince this woman that her diagnosis was wrong…that it was too much pot…opioid induced psychosis that’s all

she actually said to me that the woman kept saying that she just couldn’t handle it anymore or couldn’t take it or something like that…and my friend kept telling her it was nothing.

my friend seemed so proud of herself for freeing this woman of her schizophrenia diagnosis and all I could feel was heartbreak for this poor woman.

I tried to say things…tried to ….

But

she wouldn’t hear

what do you when there are no ears to hear……

I asked for the check

.

and I have the feeling that if I wasn’t Bipolar…Bipolar would have come up too….

what does she  think  people with Bipolar look like

are we complete fucking messes

I guess I get a pass

.

I met this friend when I was in my phase of saying not I am Bipolar but

“I once got myself diagnosed with Bipolar disorder”

(see how far I’ve come!)

when I told this friend (we used to get along….)

she said

“No. You are definitely not Bipolar. People with Bipolar are really weird”

.

.

That is wrong for so many reasons.

I can’t even begin to get into them right now

but the most disturbing part of her saying that…and the stuff about the Borderlines and the stuff about schizophrenia…and the rest

is that she IS a mental health professional

.

.

.

Is it just me or is the stigma hot and heavy lately….

.

This is the stuff that gets me all riled up in the stigma fight

but that also makes me feel crushed by the weight of what we are up against.

I couldn’t get through to a FRIEND

sigh

Let’s stick together guys

I know I called this site Bipolar first….(I couldn’t find anything not taken and it just appealed in those impulsive couple of minutes when I started this thing and I have found a lot of meaning in it)

but I want to welcome everyone else in too.  I don’t know your battles and scars but we do all stand together in this.  We have each other’s backs.

it doesn’t matter what your mental health diagnosis is.

if you have one

then we roll together

but we need a new word because

“Mentally Ill Together” sucks ass

okay for some reason it is also making me laugh out loud

it just sounds so stupid

I am sorry but I just don’t feel ILL

that’s not me

I’d rather call myself crazy than ill

.

.

Peace and Love to all you card carrying member of Crazyville

don’t let the bastards get you down

.

Peace Love Light and Stigma Fight

26 comments

Add Yours
  1. Jess Melancholia

    This is the EXACT reason I choose to stay anonymous. Of the 8 very close friends I’ve told about my Bipolar, only 3 of them have any idea or empathy towards me. Or actually try and understand what I’m going through. One of them has a BA in Psychology and she doesn’t get it. This makes me so scared because people like that are spreading their misconceptions around like a plague and ruining people’s minds. Telling them things that aren’t true. Not believing in them. We ALL have such a long way to go before people even begin to understand much less empathize with us.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. morgueticiaatoms

    Sounds as horrid as R’s psychologist daughter and how she blabs about clients and invalidates the very field she chose by saying mental illness isn’t real.

    Personally, I would prefer “neurochemically disadvantaged” over mentally ill. They have a PC term for everything else, we deserve one too.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Joanna

    This makes me absolutely furious. I am a psychologist and if I heard another mental health professional making those comments and practicing in that manner (convincing someone they don’t have schizophrenia because of their looks?!) I would feel compelled to report it to their supervisor, or the managing body which is responsible for their registration.

    I promise we are not all like that! Some of us have bipolar, BPD and I’m sure schizophrenia (although I don’t personally know of any of my colleagues with that diagnosis).

    Reassuringly I have told a number of colleagues that I have bipolar and received the support I needed when unwell, without feeling in the least stigmatised for disclosing.

    Liked by 3 people

    • bipolarfirst

      Thank you thank you thank you for chiming in here!

      It is so great to get a perspective like yours.

      I am so heartened that you have had a positive experience coming out in what could be a difficult environment.

      I wish we could know if Therapists had their own Bipolar dx and choose one.

      Wishful thinking

      Like

    • lolabipola

      I’m with you Joanna! I’m studying to become a psychologist, and thank goodness you’ve come in to say this is utter bullshit. I would also report her to her supervisor!

      Although not a colleague of mine, Sarah Gordon of Otago University has schizophrenia – diagnosed at age 17 – told she would never study or live independently – she has two degrees and a PhD – works, has a family (two children), and functions very nicely, thank you very much. She is AMAZING!

      Like

      • bipolarfirst

        Thank you for mentioning you friend here. It seems that there are SURPRISE a lot of schizophrenics making great lives. It is probably just like someone saying that you can’t be Bipolar and still function…like Bipolar means you’re from the Girl Interrupted movie. um no. Get the real picture of “mental illness”

        my friend probably thinks shitty stuff about Bipolar too but wouldn’t say it to me. She probably considers me an outlier.

        well she must because she obviously has the lowest opinions of mental illness and I am so fucking functional.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Andrew

    My borderline ex-wife (diagnosed by me reading a DSM in a psyche ward: but I know how to read) is the smartest person I’ve ever met. There goes that really offensively asinine theory that you did a good job smacking.

    Like

      • Andrew

        That’s the logical feeling. It gets even worse at the cosmic level. “Like flies are we to the gods, they kill us for their sport.” (Lear.) Fortunately discovered a silver lining corollary in the excellent Poland-set WWII spy novel I’m reading (by the rock star known as Alan Furst). Spoken in dialogue between two old-timers who have seen better days. So good. “It’s the wisdom of the gods — to keep the future dark.”

        Like

  5. Screaming Jean

    What a disgusting piece of shit human, worst thing of all? She could be the type of doctor that is treating me at the moment, the one I blogged about recently. This is our everyday battle, what we are up against! It is no wonder so many of us fall down, I also love when people say ‘but you don’t look like you have — insert mental health illness here’ that is what two bosses(the ones who fired me last week) said to me when I first told them in October 2014. You have to look a certain way to be mentally unstable.

    Holy crap on a stick I cannot take it any more, and also it just came back to me, the first psych doctor I saw in July noted verbally that I was dressed well and could put an outfit together that looked nice. I have reached boiling point with this bullshit! We all have, I think.

    Liked by 1 person

    • bipolarfirst

      Yes. I am frustrated too. It is hard not to feel completely discouraged.

      All we can do is stick together and fight for ourselves and try to control as much as we can.

      I don’t know. It sucks real bad

      And yes the “you don’t look_______”

      is really fucking annoying

      because Bipolar can’t look like a normal looking person sitting in front of you

      Like what I have to wear a “Bipolar” costume?

      and what the fuck does that even look like?

      Liked by 1 person

  6. lolabipola

    Haven’t managed to finish reading this, but I’ll be coming back to it and I WILL be making a comment. And it probably won’t be pretty….

    Like

  7. lolabipola

    I can’t add much more than Joanna did above ^^^ I too am outraged. I actually despair! Everything about what she said, and shared with you, is unethical – an none of it is true. She is posing a serious danger to her clients.

    Like

  8. DM

    Holy shite… Wow. I’d probably would have ended up doing some major damage to myself if I had her as my therapist when I started many years ago. Today, I’d tell her to go, “#$@Q@#%#@%#@$# and shove #@!#%@#%#%$#%$ where the sun don’t shine.”

    I’m also diagnosed with BPD (and I think they may have got that one spot on, LOL). And while I may not wear my labels, I’ll tell you now that I AM PTSDed, TRDed, BPDed, SADed, GADed and G-d nows what flippin’ else…BUT…AT LEAST I’M STILL CUTE.

    : )

    Thanks for sharing and keeping it real!

    Like

    • bipolarfirst

      Applause applause…

      Oh it’s real alright!

      I think it is probably true that people with “mental illness” diagnoses are cuter than the rest of the population.

      Yeah I believe that is a fact I read somewhere hmmmm..yeah in a harvard study….hehehehe……………………

      Like

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