I’m gonna tell you them
Friends, Loved Ones, Countrymen
lend me you ears(eyes)
Have you ever heard shit like the following?
I HATE myself
I’m fat and ugly
No one cares about me
I want to die
I am a failure
I can’t do this anymore
What is the point of all of this
You don’t understand
So you are the Loved One hearing this….reading these texts
what THE FUCK are you supposed to say?????
and if you are the Bipolar saying these things……..
what do you need to hear?
what do we expect people to do in the face of this kind of behavior….these kinds of statements?
I actually think that we are not “expecting” anything at all
I don’t think there is usually any great intent or thought behind these statements
We are just saying it
just getting it out
like scratching an itch
so many of us like to blog and write and we all get off so much on each other’s descriptions of Bipolar
because most of us seem to want nEED LONG FOR
to put on this stuff
and as far as I can see one of the best coping mechanisms most of us find is trying to describe how we feel
but our friends and family are like
and we’re all like okay I guess i’m freaking them out
so we get on the internet
I’m talking about more than just the describing talking bitching wanting to write and explain and feel and talk about it generally and in the community and be all heard and understood
this time I am talking about how we long to do this with our friends and family
the people close to us
the people who love us
and think they know us
The expressing in writing on the internet is much different than texting a close loved one “I hate myself”
What is that about? What do we want?
a wall to bump against
a rope to hold on to
a hand to grip
lost within the blackness and blindness of Bipolar….
an elbow on which to flutter fingertips
something to make us feel connected to SOMEthing…hold us down
make us feel like there is something solid
They can’t understand
and trying to get them to can cause pain
they cAn Care
and they can Love
and they can Listen
and they can think to themselves “Holy fucking donkey balls I have no idea what to do here”
but they cAn Say……
“Holy fucking donkey balls I have no idea what to do here”
you CAN say that
one of the best things you can say (there are two. I’m being so know it all today) when you don’t know what to say or do for your Bipolar…
“I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR SAY”
“I really wish I did”
and you’ve got a winner
and here is the thing
If you are listening..
you ARE helping
responding to the texts and emails and phone calls and all of that IS helping
and it is all we want sometimes
you can’t save us
you aren’t going to pull us out of it
just be the friend/spouse/parent
Bipolars…we can’t expect them to pull us out
and Loved Ones…you can’t try to pull us out
but you can be with us while we are in it
that is what we need
So I said that that was one thing you could say and if you notice that one was just simply our good old friend Honesty.
Now, you don’t have to add “Oh god I’m afraid you’re gonna fuckin die tomorrow…”
You can leave it at “Oh god that sounds so intense it scares me. I don’t know what to do for you. I wish I did.”
But yes…what is the other thing you should say you ask. The BIG ONE
the real deal
The three magic words that will work in any circumstance….
they require some output on your part…some endurance for some crazy talk.
obviously they can take other forms than these three words…but once you get this basic idea down you can go from there.
are you ready!!!!!!?????
drum roll please
when your Bipolar is saying crazy shit to you
you should say
DA DA DA!
tell me more
BP”I hate myself”
“Aw I think you’re pretty cool…tell me more”
BP”I want to die”
“Okay…can you tell me more?”
BP”I’m fat and stupid and ugly.”
“No you’re not but tell me more. What’s going on in you?”
BP”Nobody cares about me.”
“I care about you big time. Tell me more about what you’re feeling.”
This communicates three things to your Bipolar. Three important things
- I don’t want to leave you alone in this.
- I care
- I am not afraid of your feelings…of your Bipolar
And you are giving them something they really need
a safe space to be Bipolar
to stop hiding it and holding it and repressing it for a moment
and a space to take this swirling horrible confusing pain and tack some words on it…
get it out into the physical world
and a way to communicate to you that something big is going on
Nobody is saying it is easy.
Bipolar isn’t easy
all the shit that normies go through isn’t easy
Life isn’t easy
nobody ever promised any of us easy
so that’s the deal
that’s the deal of humans and life
if you love a Bipolar…..
if you want to help them…..
if you want them to be in your life in a genuine authentic way…
if you value what they bring to you…
if you want to be part of what helps them through it….
if you want them to be safe…
then say this shit to them
money back guarantee
hey Bipolars….don’t you wish someone would say that to you?
anybody nodding and or tearing up?
Of course now when I say I hate my life and myself and EVERYTHING is SO stupid and meaningless
and my sweet friends say…
“tell me more”
I will say
you got that from my blog