This Shit Can Kill Us

I am aware that this is a very “bipolar” Bipolar blog (I’m allowed to say that because I am Bipolar)

what I mean is that I know that one minute I’m calling it not a disorder and then I’m using words like illness and disorder

and I know I go on about missing mania and talking about gifts and blessings of this

and the fun

but I also talk about the deep hell of it

and yeah just everything

sigh

and right now…though my “mood” is fine…I find myself holding the reality

that

this shit can kill us

that it does kill some of us

that it destroys stuff

that it is a big fucking deal

and it makes me really sad

and i don’t want to get all religious but i don’t know another way to say something like

god bless every single one of you

like really and truly

really really really and truly truly truly

i’m just sitting here staring at the screen with my head in my hands

no words